Guiding Youth to Navigate Life Beyond Children's Home

Helping the unprepared welfare center graduates transition to independence is an important assignment for our society.

Sulmi Park Representative, YANA Korea

Hello. My name is Sulmi Park, and I am the representative of YANA Korea. I will be sharing the harsh realities that young adults who grew up in child welfare facilities face when they age out of the care system. I spent a lot of time thinking about how to share their stories, as they are not easy to tell. As I was contemplating this, I was reminded of the thoughts I had when I was working at Dongmyung Center. I had supported our students on their road to independence as they were aging out, and through continual interaction and going through the process numerous times, a lot of thoughts had entered my mind.

If only our students grew up in ordinary families until they reached adulthood… If only our students had even one parent to pour out unconditional love on them… If only our students had adults in their lives who would direct their ways when they did wrong… If only our students had someone to trust and depend on when they were tired and weary… If only I could have been a better help to our students… When children reach the age of 20 (Korean age), they are required to leave the facilities. However, these students, who have become used to group home life, enter the real world alone without sufficient preparation for living independently. Before leaving the facilities, students learn how to identify areas where support can be provided after leaving, and also learn tips on how to live independently with everyday life examples. However, for students who have grown up inside this sheltered group care facility, it would be too much of a presumption for us to expect them to master everything necessary to live alone in such a short period of time.

After growing up in a controlled environment, children often start to indulge in the infinite freedom they have after leaving as they navigate through this newfound independence. During this time, many end up spending all of their savings accumulated from gifts from sponsors and donors, as well as depleting their funds given to them by the government when they become of age.

We lose contact with some students within 3 to 4 years after their leaving the facility. Some become isolated as they cannot receive the proper care they need to survive. Eventually, after all of their money runs out and after their network of friends and acquaintances dissolves, they come back to the facilities in need of help. We (the facility) welcome back the students with open arms and take that difficult step in assisting them in their journey back to independence.

Recently, the society has been more interested in child protective services and the media has done a good job in exposing the needs and stories of these children. However, even the general public has a better sense of the importance of supporting children who are in transition to independence, most people believe those who are legally adults are ultimately responsible for themselves. Many people are still unaware of the lifestyle and traits of those who grew up in the system and they doubt why there is the need to continue to support those who have legally become adults. This mindset can be considered understandable as the general public does not know or understand fully the conditions of growing up in welfare facilities.

Group welfare facilities are facilities where the location and environment are predetermined with certain rules and disciplines that all who live there must follow. There are limitations to how much the children can mature and grow in this confined, shared space where individual attention is lacking. Upon entering the facilities without consideration for their opinions or options, children experience deep pain and are psychologically wounded. This has a huge impact on their attitudes. These children feel helpless and experience feelings of loss as they realize that, no matter how much effort they put in, they will not and cannot return to their families. Children become passive and grow more and more helpless as they assimilate into this new life.

Currently, in each room, there are two teachers who work on shifts. Being responsible for 10 students each takes a physical toll on the teachers and limits individual attention and care. This creates drawbacks and influences the children in a negative way. Again, the children experience isolation and loss in the facility, and they feel emotionally deprived. This contributes to the reasons why they face difficulties when they move out and start to live alone.

When it comes close to the time they have to leave the facility, students are taught and exposed to life outside by way of simulation. However, they are unable to tangibly understand and grasp the essence of living alone. Independence is a life lesson learned naturally by watching and experiencing life with parents who work hard to make a living, and make wise choices in spending that hard-earned income. For children who grow up in the facilities, it is impossible for them to be exposed to these kinds of life lessons because the only income they know comes from sources such as sponsors, donors, and the government, who provide minimal living expenses without passing on any kind of instruction.

The biggest hardships the children face are taking control of their lives and loneliness. While living in the facility, children always have a sense of “we,” but in the outside world, they have to face life alone without anyone to turn to. As I mentioned earlier, our students are sent into society without sufficient preparation to confront the world. Although they are taken care of while growing up with other children, this experience prevents them from being fully prepared to go through life alone. For this reason, the only way they can understand the meaning and necessity of independence is to experience it for themselves and slowly learn how to survive.

A student who left the facility years ago reflected: only after leaving the facility did they realize that they should have prepared for life outside the facility way earlier before leaving. “So, this is why I was required to have a lesson in economics. This is why I was told to save as much money as I could.” The children are taught to discover and learn how to live for themselves, but at that time, they are not receptive to these abstract lessons. They have never experienced it, nor have they had any chance to practice what they have learned in family settings. Considering these reasons, it would be unreasonable to demand that these 20-year-olds become flawlessly independent only because they have been given lessons and support on how to be independent.

For those who grow up in normal families, they learn directly and indirectly by watching and experiencing life with their parents. This helps them to learn how to be independent. Even when it comes to the time they have to take up a job, they are granted a “grace period” when they can still turn to their parents for guidance as they transition into adulthood.

Students who are released into society from welfare facilities do not have the luxury of "grace period" and they are often not able to adapt to living alone independently. Even they have become legal adults they waver between the transitional period of childhood and adulthood. It is important to note that with the right care and support, our children can assimilate into society, take their place, and become independent. We must be aware that putting these practices in place will help create a better and healthier society. Knowing firsthand the lives of children who have never known success and achievement, and what life after 20 looks like and how desperate they are, I concluded that what these young adults need is a place to recharge and adapt. This is the reason YANA KOREA is launching the YANA HOUSE PROJECT to provide job opportunities for them. This project would allow them to reestablish trust and fait. YANA HOUSE will be a special place for those seeking recovery: It will be a place where they can find a steady job, learn life lessons, and listen to experienced people who grew up in similar contexts; it will be a place where anyone who has lived in the facilities can come freely without judgment. Creating this kind of safe space is our dream. We are recruiting people who share our vision and are willing to partner with us in taking the first step onto this long road ahead to make this dream become a reality.

Sulmi Park

Representative, YANA Korea